Day -2: What I Expect

So it turns out that today, May 28, is Day -2. I am writing this at 1:00 A.M in order to balance the fact that this is really May 27's post but in order for it to actually be Day -2 I need to write it on May 28. More likely it is just that I am staying up late getting ready for my last day in Houston before I head out. I may or may not write later on today.

I think I am going to take this post as an opportunity to try and explain my expectations for CHBOLC and what I am hoping to accomplish while I am there.

The problem with CHBOLC and what I am supposed to expect is that there is not much information out there about how CHBOLC has been in recent years. That is partially why I am writing this blog, hopefully in order for someone who is going to CHBOLC in the next couple of years to read and get an idea of what to expect. But I am so uncertain of what to expect that you may find that after a week or so I have not posted anything because I didn't know that I wasn't allowed to be on the internet or something. Of course that is unlikely as most of the information I have received leading up to it has led me to believe that having my own personal laptop with me is highly encouraged to complete assignments that I will be doing.

Something else that kind of makes my case interesting is that I don't know too many Chaplain Candidates who are coming from an ROTC background. The CC's I know are typically either straight out of the civilian world or are prior enlisted. Don't get me wrong, I don't count ROTC as service time at all, but I am familiar with some of the material I figure we will be focusing on in the Chaplain Initial Military Training (the first four weeks) while someone who has never been in ROTC may not know anything about it. On the other hand I am not prior service and so I may not be as confident as someone who has served in the Army for quite a while and is an expert on the tasks and skills we will be learning. I am sure I will fall somewhere in the middle where I am still an amateur at most things I will be learning in CIMT, but am familiar enough with the material that I can master the content faster than those who have never learned it. I am hoping this puts me in a position where I can help people out rather than be the person that always needs help.

Definitely expect that most of the blogs I post will be shorter than this while I am there. Right now I have the energy and time to sit down and right out my deepest thoughts in the Wix blogging app but most of the "Welcome" packet I have received emphasizes the intensity of the training day. It says I can expect to be up earlier than 5 a.m and be done with my training day no later than 8 p.m. It does say this changes fairly often depending on what is required for training that day, perhaps some days shorter, some days longer.

One thing I do know is that at some point in the day (if they haven't changed it this year) I will have time to myself. And as an introvert who is energized from being alone, that is my greatest relief. My only experience with Army training has been four weeks in Fort Knox at Advanced Camp. There, the only alone time I had was when I stuck my head in my sleeping bag or sat in a port-o-john. Now instead of journal-ling in my Rite in the Rain book I am hoping I can blog here, and instead of reading out of my mini pocket Bible for my devotions every day I am hoping I can sit down with some music playing in the background and just enjoy my moments of being away from people. Trust me I love people, but it will be a great gift from God to simply be away from people for periods of the day.

What is going to be interesting for those reading this blog in the far future is that in 2019 I will only be attending the first six weeks of CHBOLC. I will be attending CIMT (4 weeks) and Phase 1 (2 weeks). After that I will be driving back home to Houston. The reasoning is behind that decision is that I will be getting married to the love of my life when I get home. I had originally planned on completing all 12 weeks this summer but when we realized that getting married in the summer would be best for both of our situations I reached out to the Chaplain Candidate Manager and requested that I split my training into two years (one of the many benefits of being a chaplain candidate over being in another branch of the Army). He approved it so just think of CIMT and Phase 1 as Season 1 of my CHBOLC blog and season 2 is coming in 2020.

So I expect my days to be long and my time to myself to be short, and I don't expect this to be Youth Camp. I have been warned numerous times that it is my responsibility to nourish my spiritual life. My cadre, no matter the denomination, are there to teach me to be a staff officer in the U.S Army, but it is my job to ensure I am a successful Christian Chaplain. My prayer is that I find other Christians with the same convictions as me so that we can hold each other accountable for our spiritual lives while at CHBOLC. I also know that there will be chaplains from a ton of different faith traditions there and I hope that through interacting with them I learn a lot about various faiths. I have tried in the past to expose myself to the belief systems of those in different faith traditions but this will likely be a deeper experience as those who will be attending CHBOLC will be the clergy of those faith traditions.

Some goals I have for myself are daily and long term.

Daily Goals:

1) To read (amount TBD) pages of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. I ordered this book to enhance my EQ. I believe that I am fairly aware of others' emotions but I think this book will help me understand my own better and how I am affectively projecting my emotions in interactions with others. I think it will be a fun book to take my time going through this summer.

2) To call my fiance every day. No matter how tired I am, or how little sleep it means I get, I want to be sure to video call Sophia every day if possible. The real test will be to ensure I am polite, gentle, and kind to her no matter what happened that day.

3) To pray quietly for at least 15 minutes. I know that I will be in God's Word about everyday. I don't believe that I am going to make a regimented schedule of reading because I think that after such a regimented seminary semester it might be good for me to pick it up when its natural. But the thing that I struggle with the most is sitting silently in prayer. The most beneficial thing I can do for other people is to spend time with God in prayer. This is because in prayer I am able to vent, I am able to listen, and I am able to respond with the creator of the universe who is in complete control of everything that happens all the time. I will need set aside time to pray.

4) I want to consciously listen more than I speak. A big problem I have had since starting seminary is that I feel like an encyclopedia and when people are bringing their problems to me I feel like they are expecting a response that will fix their problems. The reality is, sometimes people just want to vent. And I know that in the Army this is especially true. People need to complain. It keeps us alive. While I will work to avoid complaining myself, I think that what I need to do on a daily basis is ask tons of questions about people and their lives and let them dominate the conversations. With the amount I tend to talk, I'm sure that it will balance the conversations out anyways.

5̶)̶ ̶G̶e̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶s̶l̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ : Oh who am I kidding this one isn't happening. Probably the thing I am most nervous about with training is staying awake during classes. I am definitely a dozer who has become quite immune to caffeine.

Long Term Goals:

1) Be in stellar PT shape. I am coming in at a level of fitness that can best be summed up by the phrase "eh." I went from doing PT 5 times a week in ROTC to doing practically nothing for almost a whole semester and gaining a ton of weight. Thankfully I have lost most of that weight and am at a weight the Army would deem "acceptable." I also have a passing PT score, but I am 23. I am going to be expected to be in the prime of my life of fitness.

2) Be a dependable Chaplain Candidate. One thing I want to be known as by the time I leave is dependable. Period.

3) I want to be known for my positivity and not for complaining.

So I might change this list later on down the road but that's generally what I have been thinking about as I approach CHBOLC. I am really not looking forward to the drive that is coming up on Wednesday. I will be driving to Atlanta and then driving up to Columbia the next day. The only redeeming factor of that drive is I have some unfinished audio books and some lectures to listen to that will probably take a while.

I don't know if I am going to post later today or if I am going to wait until the hotel in Atlanta, but I know I will be spending the rest of today packing for the trip and spending time with Sophia. I must have at least 10 sticky notes all over the place reminding me to pack a coffee maker and coffee for my hotel room. I think it has a timer on it so maybe it will make me coffee right as I wake up every day. Ok now I am rambling. Time for bed.